Tinder is a peculiar thing. Supposedly it's a dating app, or a hook up app. So far it has provided me only with entertainment and horrendous pick up lines. Here is my guide to swiping.
- If I can't pronounce your name I have to x you, no matter how attractive you are.
- Friends must always tick friends. It's not declaring you fancy each other it is simply saying hey we're both on tinder I hope your journey to true love is progressing nicely here.
- If I sort of know you in real life, I will like you just to see if you like back. Then I will stare and toss my hair at you in public places because I now know you're madly in love with me.
- If you have a picture with a baby, I will assume it's yours.
- If you have bad tattoos it's an instant x.
- If you're age 17 how did you get on here?!?!! Please leave.
- If you're lucky enough for me to give you my snapchat; no, I will not send you naked picture and no, I do not want to see your penis so stop asking me if I like it.
- Even if you're not that physically attractive but we have a like that's very highly regarded to me in common you will get a tick. For me these are the film Airplane, anything Monty Python related, Keith Moon and Arcade Fire.
- Grammar and spelling will never not be important.
- If the girl in your picture is more attractive than me or you, it's a no, I can't compete with that/I'd rather have her than you and that's just a bit weird.
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